Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
