Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
