i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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