Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
