Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
