It's Friday. Sex?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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