You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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