If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
