Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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