where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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