i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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