Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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