??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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