can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
