Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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