you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
