you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
