that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
