Sponge bath it is.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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