You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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