I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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