Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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