So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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