is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
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I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
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