Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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