Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
