I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
