this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
