in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
what day is it and did you see me today?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
