Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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