Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
