Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
