Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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