By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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