so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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