this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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