what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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