All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
