so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's shark week go big or go home
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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