That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
