I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
