Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
