She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Someone shattered a urinal.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
