So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
