You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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