i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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