dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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