So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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