you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
