We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize