she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
