She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
