When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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