Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
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She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
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On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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