you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
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And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
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Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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