Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
