I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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