I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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