Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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