I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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