i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Randomize
